The Breast Cancer Bombshell

More extracts from my book, 'Mother Becomes Stardust', which is about my late Mother's brave fight during her final months on Earth - and what I also often experienced within the system.

Chapter 10 - Cancer (extract)

Cancer, the real c-word. The word itself still strikes terror in people. On March 8th I was talking to Anita, a nurse at Cedar Falls, and she let slip that my Mum had terminal breast cancer. She presumed I knew...

That my Mum had cancer had been known for months, but nobody explained this to me. I'm my Mother's only child and easily her closest blood relative, but that didn't seem to matter. On my Mother's Service Option Form it stated quite clearly that, in the client group, my Mother was classed as suffering from "frailty/temporary illness". Being terminally ill is not a "temporary illness". Whether Social Services were as ignorant of my Mum's condition as I was is open to question. Going back to Mum's Reassessment of Needs form I again looked up "fumigating mass", but I came to realize that it should have read "fungating mass". The verb 'fungate' means: "To grow rapidly, like a fungus." For example, cancer. The reassessment was dated November 12th, 2010. All these months I had been thinking: "At least Mum hasn't got cancer..."

After hearing the news, if a truck had hit me I wouldn't have felt it. I said to nurse Mary that "The brown stuff is going to hit the fan", and, bless her, she was outraged on my behalf that I hadn't been informed of my Mother's condition. She rang the doctor concerned, and I was then given a copy of my Mother's Inpatient Letter, which certainly explained things more clearly. It had also earlier been deemed, by the Lincolnshire Primary Care Trust panel, that my Mother's prime need was social rather than health. My Mother had inoperable breast cancer and couldn't walk since her stroke. I've learnt since my Mum's death that, depending on what prime need is deemed appropriate, there can be differences with how a patient's care is funded. When needs are deemed as social then loved ones are expected to pay more.

I possibly wouldn't have signed Mum even going into temporary care if I had known that she was terminally ill. I also wonder how ill you have to be to stay in hospital exactly. If Mum was going to die, I and she would have wanted it to have been at home surrounded by her two beautiful cats. That wish was denied her.

'Mother Becomes Stardust' is available through Amazon in Kindle and paperback format. Check my other blog entries for more info.

The First Few Paragraphs...

...of 'Mother Becomes Stardust'

1. Friday the 13th Does Its Worst

Thursday evening, August 12th, I watched a DVD of the Alfred Hitchcock classic, 'Notorious', with my Mother. I said to her after the film had finished: "We'll watch the extras later." Later never came, as this was to be my Mother's last evening in the family home.

I'd never seen what all the fuss was about regarding Friday the 13th - until August 2010. I woke up late on that day and saw that the time was 10am. It was a time my Mother and I would normally be on our way to the nearby town of Spalding to do some shopping. Not this time. I couldn't find my Mother anywhere and, when calling her, I received no response. I went into her bedroom and found Mum collapsed by the side of her bed. She could have been lying like that for hours. All the signs indicated that she had suffered a stroke.

This was confirmed when I called 999. I was asked, by a helpful guy, to try and get a series of responses from my Mother. She made drunken responses, but her smile reassured me.

The paramedics arrived very quickly and got Mum to Peterborough District Hospital in Thorpe Road just as quickly. It's a distance of some 16 miles. I remember that the driver looked like a New Age traveller and that we talked about music. A surreal image, but this was just the start of a what would be nothing less than a surreal journey for the next 18 months.

'Mother Becomes Stardust' is available at Amazon. Links to both the paperback and Kindle versions of the book can be found on the Amazon pages below:

Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-ebook/dp/B00946Y1VA

Amazon.co.uk

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-Paul-Rance/dp/1479237930

What's Not in the Book...

Thanks for those of you who have bought 'Mother Becomes Stardust'. This article includes some stuff that's not in the book.

http://www.booksmusicfilmstv.com/MumAndI.html

A Thank You

Thanks to everyone who showed my Mum and I kindness over the past two years. I've mentioned as many people as possible in the acknowledgements section of a book detailing my Mum's final months - 'Mother Becomes Stardust'.

The book is now out on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com in both Kindle and paperback format. Click the 'look inside' link on the Kindle links, and then scroll down to see the names mentioned in the acknowledgements.

Amazon.com paperback
http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-Paul-Rance/dp/1479237930/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1347110309&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Mother+Becomes+Stardust+paperback

Amazon.com Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-ebook/dp/B00946Y1VA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347110200&sr=8-1&keywords=Mother+Becomes+Stardust

Amazon.co.uk paperback
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-Paul-Rance/dp/1479237930/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2

Amazon.co.uk Kindle
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Becomes-Stardust-ebook/dp/B00946Y1VA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1347110039&sr=1-1

Introduction to 'Mother Becomes Stardust'

On Wednesday, January 18th, 2012 my beautiful Mother, Thelma Rance, was laid to rest in the Lincolnshire village of Whaplode Drove. She was buried next to my Father, Peter, who had died in September 2001. The last 18 months of my Mother's life had been traumatic, as first she suffered a stroke and then it was discovered that she had terminal breast cancer. This is a story about my Mother's brave fight and my fight against a system which made things as stressful as possible.

If you believe the scientists we are all made from stardust - literally. My Mother always loved looking at the stars, and as life is cyclical it's nice to think she is now among the objects she so admired - as eternal stardust.

- Paul Rance, August 30th, 2012.

Acknowledgements

Thanks to the kindness of the following over the past two years: Colin, Myrie and Edie, Joyce and Susan, Norman, Wendy and Mick, Leila and Nicholas, Chris, Richard and family, Brian, Cynthia and Maurice, Iris, Andrew Bruce, Andrew Savage, Andy Xport, Francesca, Dorothy and family, Rosemary, Irene and Bill, Christine and Richard Bruness, Irini Kotroni, Danielle Olivia Tefft, Mary McGihon, Dave, Shaheen Darr, Larry Burke, Shelly Starkey, Joanne Lynch, Pat West, Tony and family, Rill and family, Valerie and Bertha, Joyce Wilson, Dot, Janet, Hilda, Belinda, Beryl, Ric Klass, Ingrid Riley, Gwynn Watt and Jane Foulger, Leilani Holmes, John Smither, Pat, Margaret, Wendy and family, Greg Brian, Julie Bodeeb, Denise Perrin, Cardinal Cox, Esther Newton, Steve Sneyd, Daisy Hickman, LuRain Penny, Jaipi Sixbear, Vaughan, Hugo, Malcolm, Ali E. McCartney, Lady Samantha, Dan Reveal, Cassie Antares, Bethany Marsh, Theresa Wiza, Susan Elliott, Kira Stann, Natasha Head, Langley Cornwell, Maria Roth, Mary Oberg, Bridgitte Williams, Parm Gill, Tina Twito, Donna Morreale, Diane Zoller-Ciatto, Shana Dines, Valerie-Ann Risely, Bridget Ilene Delaney, Kimberley Beckom, Han Van Meegerin, Loki Morgan and Patti Walden. The staff at Tanglewood Cedar Falls, the nurses at the various Peterborough hospitals, Leanne and staff at Debonair - and the kindness of strangers.